This week has been kind of rough so far and I'm not sure why. Brooke was pretty bad yesterday. I find it a lot harder to watch kids when parents/grandparents are around. Because I'm not really watching them fully, and I can't get into the right rhythm. Anyways, I'm picking her up from camp shortly. I hope she's good today. Her mom is away this week (till Thurs I think) and her grandparents are watching her, but they're going out tonight so I'm in charge I guess. It just stresses me out this job, but I need the money so freaking badly that I don't have much of a choice in the matter.

Speaking of money I don't know what I'm going to do. I have rent due this weekend when I go to get my keys and I don't have it. I'm pretty sure when I talked to my dad he said he could lend it to me until my financial aid comes through because it has yet to. Which I'm also really annoyed and pissed off about. It's partially my fault, but it's also a lot of UConn's fault and I have a feeling I'm going to get mega screwed and be in deep shit for this up coming school year. I need all the extra money I was supposed to get so I can pay rent and for food. Ugh.

I'm feeling really strange right now and I'm not entirely sure why. I can't get comfortable. I'm not tired, I slept really well last night. I hadn't taken my medication in a day so maybe my body is just readjusting to that? I don't know though, I do feel very strange. I just made some lists of things I need to get at Target for school and there's a LOT of stuff. Mostly because I'm moving and I need to buy new of everything because I used up everything I had left at the end of the year/start of summer.

I don't like how unstable my life is going to be the next few weeks. I'm going to have two places I'm living and I feel like I'm going to get confused and annoyed. I still have to stay home because I'll still be working, but I feel like I'm going to want to go back to school already. I kind of already do. I desperately need to find another job up at school but unfortunately my schedule isn't very babysitter-friendly at the moment. If I could find someone with a baby who needs help in the mornings a few days a week, I could totally do that, it would be perfect. I should start looking now. Maybe I'll go do that until I have to go switch cars and pick up Brooke (her mom had an extra car that was with her parents in Kentucky but now it's back here so essentially it's mine to use to pick up Brooke so I don't have to waste my gas/miles anymore. So that's good at least)

I hope I start feeling less strange soon...

So I had a pretty perfect weekend. I worked hard all week for both Amy and the Mac's so it was double work. I got double paid though, so I guess that's good. I need it right now, every single penny of it.

Then Friday night I got invited to Zack's. Zack, Whitney, Alex and Justin were all there and I missed them SO much! It was awesome to see all my UConn friends again. Raphael, Zack's step brother was also there and it was great to see him too. His parents (dad and step mom) were on a business trip but they came home late that night) I invited Frankie, one of Jose's best friends to come too and that was fun to see him. We won at beer pong; we got six cups in a row in on our first shots. It was awesome. I ended up sleeping there because I got a little too drunk to drive two hours home.

I woke up kind of late on Saturday and then went home and showered and got ready to go meet my cousin Kyra in Brooklyn. She was visiting a friend. We ate at this Mexican resturant that was really tasty. Then we went to the movies and we saw Inception. SO GOOD! A total mind bender. I need to see it again to fully understand it, that's for sure. I really loved all the actors in it too so that was a bonus. It was later then I had thought it would be by the time the film was over and I nearly missed the last train home. But luckily I made it with a few minutes to spare and got home around 3am. I slept all day and did laundry. I got called into work to go to Trumball to pick up Brooke because her dad had brought her to a party that was running really late and her mom wanted to stay with her family and parents who are visiting. Amy is going away for the week so I'll be helping her parents out with Brooke. I don't think I'm going to make that much money, but oh well. I did make double kind of last week so that was good.

So this weekend was pretty great. I'm sad that it's over, it went be super fast. Next weekend (Sunday to be exact) Ellesse and I get keys to our new apartment up at school! I'm really excited! I kind of want to move everything and get it done with but I know it's just going to be a major pain in the ass. I have to start getting organized and getting ready soon though because school starts in like four weeks. Crazy!

I'm pretty sure Marley doesn't love me anymore.

This kind of breaks my heart, in a big way.

:-/

This really isn't my week. I woke up early to get a new phone, and they had two options. I got one, and I absolutely fucking hate it. I need to return it ASAP. It's so flimsy and annoying and loud (the keys are loud - I turned the key pad volume off but when you text the buttons click and are loud) and I'm so ocd about it. I didn't realize how badly I'm ocd about my phone but I seriously am.

The kids were a little better today which was good. I worked all day though, which kind of sucked. My new tires are good at least. Today was just blah.

I have nothing to do now, literally. I have no money to spend on anything. Things are just generally sucky right now. I want to do something fun but I don't know what that is. I also want to do something productive but I don't know what that is either. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and I don't know how it's going to go. We shall see.

Ellesse and I are getting ready to move. Our landlord is giving us the keys early and said we can bring some stuff up. That's exciting. and a little scary too.

I guess that's all for now. My brain is mush and I'm in a grumpy mood. My foot is also asleep. I just can't seem to really win these days. I really hope things get better.

I can't sleep. Which double sucks because I've had an incredibly shitty day AND I have a very long day ahead of me tomorrow.

I had a flat tire and had to get it fixed today, which ended up taking a lot of time and more money then I had hoped.

Then, the rest of my day was super shitty. Work just was blah and stressful and sucked. Then, tonight, of all things, my phone decides it won't charge anymore. Meaning, I need to buy a new phone tomorrow, with money I don't really have. But I need it for work. Fuckkkkkk

I'm really tired but I can't sleep. I had tea at Ellesse's earlier and I think that it's keeping me up. I just want to go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be even longer then today (work wise) and I'm going to need all the help I can get.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Hopefully things will improve as the week goes on...

Alright, so update time. A few weekends ago I went to VA to visit Jose and his family. Jose graduated from college which I'm SO proud of! I got to hang out with his family which was a little intimidating at first, but worked out really well. I enjoy them a lot. Then, he came last weekend for the 4th of July, so all in all I've been seeing him bunches lately. I miss him still though. Yesterday was his birthday and I think I finally figured out an excellent present to get him.

Lets see what else. I've been trying to work as much as possible lately, which has been semi difficult considering the family I'm working for was away in Kentucky for the past two weeks now. I picked them up on Tuesday and they're back. I'm really grateful for work, however I do not really like the job. Mostly, it's the little girl. She's kind of a brat, which makes my job really difficult. At least with the twins I've known them long enough and I know the boundaries and rules better, but with this family I'm starting new and it's difficult. She doesn't want to listen to me and I can't really blame her, I'm just an outsider. so, she doesn't. And then I get frustrated and angry and hate it. Hopefully as time goes on things will get better. I still have about five plus weeks with her. Hopefully we'll start to do fun things and then she'll like me better. I hate dreading work. It's just as bad as not having work. Ugh.

I'm so stressed out about money. I have to pay first and last month's rent and my bank account is very low at the moment (mostly because the family was away for the past two weeks and I haven't gotten paid for housesitting for them yet). I mean, very very low. Luckily when I was working more I put some into savings but even that won't cover first or last months' rent. I also am having doctor billing issues, as well as health insurance. Being an adult kind of blows, big time. I just want to have enough money to be able to afford the basics next year and it's not looking too hopeful right now.

Other then that, things have been decent. I'm working on my quilt sewing project. I'm really excited about it, though I haven't done it in a while. I'm supposed to fix a skirt for a friend that I have to do very soon. I have to go to work in about 25 minutes and I'm not sure what to do until then. I don't want to start sewing because then I hate stopping in the middle of a row or something. I don't want to read because I kind of have a head ache (mostly because of the lack of insurance which leads to lack of medication which equals head ache for Natalia)

I need to start having adventures. I seriously hope I get paid tomorrow like I'm supposed to because my cousin is going to be in NYC this weekend and I would LOVE to go see her. I love NYC and I've barley been, just once with Jose this summer. That's sad. I must go more!

Ok that's all for now, long enough update. More pictures soon (as soon as I take more...) and hopefully HAPPY things to update on too!

fireworks!


4th of July fireworks


Jose and I

Sunset at Milford Beach in CT




Sorry I've been so sucky at posting (again). So much to update on, but not much time at the moment. I PROMISE soon! For now, some photos from this weekennd.