I'm kind of bumming right now. This is going to sound so absolutely pathetic but I wish I had something to do tonight. I mean, sure, there's a ton of cleaning and organizing to do that I'm supposed to have had done already (I know, I suck) and I probably could find some sewing stuff to do (there's always sewing stuff) but I'm not in the mood for either of those. My motivation has been so low lately and I don't know why. I guess I just wish I had friends who would call me up to hang out or something. I mean, it's not entirely their fault because most of my friends are out tonight and usually I can't afford to go out (I could tonight but it's probably better that I don't) so they've kind of stopped asking me. I guess I just feel really alone. My phone is sort of broken as well and either people aren't getting my messages or they're completely ignoring me. Both of those scenarios suck though.

I realized I don't have any plans whatsoever for tomorrow. I may work tomorrow night but of course I don't know for sure yet. I really want to do something productive and useful. I just can't seem to make myself lately.

I went to NYC yesterday but barley took any photos which I'm kind of bummed about. It's totally my own fault though. I went during a busy time so there were tons of people everywhere and I always feel like I'm in the way when I stop to take pictures. It was also difficult because there was SO much around me that I couldn't decide what to photograph so instead I just didn't. I went to the MOMA and saw a lot of cool stuff. It was also really crowded though so I didn't stay as long. I decided that graphics and design things (like fonts) kind of make my head hurt. It's too look at. I can't find something specific to focus on.

They had some South African art and it's making me want to go even more. I don't know if that will actually happen, it would probably be wiser of me not to do something like that. But, when do I do things that are wise? I mean, yeah, sometimes, but more often, usually not. So we'll see.

I guess that's all for now. I seriously wish this motivation would kick in. I have lots of cleaning, organizing, crafting, making art (the two are different) and work to do and I want to do. I just can't seem to make myself.