I had nothing to do today so I just stayed up at school. I have work tomorrow.

I'm kind of depressed.

The reason I'm upset is that I have a friend, one of my best friends, who has barley talked to me all summer. I don't know why and I don't know what I did to make this happen. I have tried to reach out to her with no success. This has never happened before in our friendship and I honestly thought it never would. It's happened to me in the past with a different friend once; we were the best of friends and then she just stopped talking to me, with no reason. Eventually she came around and told me what her reason was (which I won't get into here but was silly - she wasn't angry at me for something I did, it was something else completely having to do with her). I'm at a loss in this situation, I don't know what to do. I've tried and gotten zero reciprocation. Mostly though, it just makes me sad. I feel like I've lost a best friend, which I pretty much have. And that's a horrible feeling to have.

I ordered more polaroid film online over the weekend. (with money I seriously should not have spent) Hopefully it won't take as long to get here as the camera and first order of film did. That would really suck. I'm still in love with the camera, but I've had to slow myself down because I can go through film SO quickly.

I'm trying to distract myself and get my mind off this whole situation with my friend but I don't really know how to. My initial reaction is defensive, but I don't know if that's the right way to approach the situation. I seriously don't even know what the situation is, which makes it pretty impossible to approach at all.

I need to figure out stuff in my life. I have an idea, but I want a better idea. I know nothing can be set in stone because you never know what's going to happen in life, whats around the corner. That's one of my biggest fears, things that are around the corner. I hate the unknown.

I'm just sad and depressed and I don't know what to do with myself in this moment. I have to do laundry and I should clean up my room a bit, but I don't feel like doing anything. I just feel sad. I'm at a loss and I don't know what to do.