Life is moving really fast these days and I'm really uncomfortable with it. On a long drive home recently, I thought about a lot of stuff and I'm thinking I may need to work a lot of this out. I don't really want to go back into therapy (because it's expensive - not because I'm against it - it's been very helpful in the past) but I may have to. The thing is, I'm not even entirely sure what needs to be worked out. I'm just feeling not ok at the moment and I really don't like it.

Next week is school, so this is my last week home. I'm sad about it; I feel like I didn't get a lot accomplished this summer. I didn't have the greatest of summers. I worked a lot, which was good, but had huge issues saving money (because of expenses and because I'm not the greatest saver) so I don't have much to show for all of my work. I probably will have the same job next summer - I hope, so that's good. I don't want to leave my grandparents. I'm really sad about it.

I'm looking forward to this semester and I'm planning on working my ass off. I want to learn as much as possible and take some amazing photographs for my future portfolio. I'm going to work harder in my history of photo class then I ever have in any art history class (although I worked pretty hard in my African Art class last semester but I'm going to step it up) I'm trying my best to get myself pumped up.

I have a lot of stuff moved already but still have to move all of my clothing (which is a lot) and some random stuff. Not looking forward to it truthfully. I'm looking forward to being all moved in. I have to order a futon as soon as I get paid from last week, which I didn't get yet which kind of sucks. But yeah, futon for a bed. It's probably going to backfire on me, but luckily I can make uncomfortable sleeping situations work for me, so that's good at least.

I have to deal with stuff and I don't want to. I'm not ready to, I guess. Or, I just don't want to. Either.